Lesson 13 : The Wisdom of Bonds

Blessings and welcome to this special insight on relationships Everyone.
This teaching is curated from my word session at my beautiful Fiancees Community and Ministry.
Its depth of wisdom qualifies it to be a major topic referenced for years to come via this series.
It’s one thing to just be a part of a church or a ministry
It’s another thing to be active in any of the communities you find yourself connected to in the Faith.
Many of us have questions on dealing with people
Why are people the way they are? How shall we deal with them?
And so on and so forth

Starting focus: Our Orientation of people
The world is generally a better place because of someoness kindness and a worse place because of someones wickedness. Both kindness and wickedness need yielded people to be expressed, so teachings like this aim to yield us towards goodness for the betterment of the world and for our christian journey.
We have to first be good people after which we can now talk about dealing with the different kind of people we come across in our lives. lets please take note of biblical stance on our relationship bonds in general with people


Reference Scriptures 
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity" (Proverbs 17:17).
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend" (Proverbs 27:17).
"Two are better than one... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted" (Proverbs 27:6).
"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20).

All these scriptures highlight that good frienship is a great blessing and a good community is powerful.

This drives to a point i'd love us to note: There is an open mindedness needed to relate with people
This is a major key to the ignition of all relationships
Proverbs 18:24 (KJV/NKJV): "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly : and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother"

This means we must learn basic good communication in ignition of bonds and be open to basic communication. This is not the point to determine the depth of the friendship or how far it will go. Its just communicating with an open mind and an inclination to learn

Proverbs 22:11 (ESV): "He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend"
To ignite beautiful relationships, We must learn the act and the art of gracious speech.
every Lady will agree with me here that any man who comes to you, whether as friend or classmate or mutual friend or just interested in you and talks anyhow or in a rough manner the very first time has killed his chance of being close by more than 90%
The bible talks about letting our words be seasoned with salt.
I wont be here now if i'd spoken anyhow to my lady the very first time we communicated. you gerrit?
This is where ignited bonds show people and their ideologies.
May God help us to ignite beautiful friendships at any stage of life we find ourselves in.
No matter how high God lifts you, talk nicely to people.

no excuse for rudeness, "thats how i am"  its a lie ma.
give everyone the benefit of doubt before you start applying discernment based on the character traits that show up as you continue to hang around.

I encourage ignition  of friendships and relationships between people who already have things in common

same church
same school
met at a conference
met somewhere honourable
met on your journey to purpose
and so on and so forth

Three Layers of Relationship 

1. The foundational layer of relationship with God.
It is very important to find your way to God early. 

2. The pivotal layer of a relationship with yourself. 
This is about discovering your strengths so that you know what you bring to the table

3. The opportunistic layer of a relationship with other people.
This is understanding the importance of people and the power of social capital.
That Job
That opportunity
That connection
Its people God will use
we must pray that God PLACES US IN HIS ECOSYSTEM OF PEOPLE IN THIS LIFE.
This was a major prayer i prayed that God answered and I am grateful till today.

Ending Focus : The Wisdom of Bonds

Auditing relationships based on 

1. communication : Give people benefit of doubt but dont ignore their energy and how they communicate as it says a lot about their view of you.watch out for energy so that you are not wasting resources you can invest in people who will honour and appreciate

2. commitment : your decision of who gets closer access must come from a sense of committment

3. consistency : Consistency in anything is a strong character marker we must watch out for.
Consistently Supportive means something, Consistently gossipping also means something too
be open minded if you notice efforts to change but check for strengths and shortcomings and their consistency, intensity and adaptibility. beware of taking nonsense, i once heard sit somewhere, "you are what you eat so dont eat trash".

Please learn to discern Seasonal Relationships and not hold on to them when the seasons have passed.
Analogy; except for exceptional cases many of you are no more in touch with folks from former secondary and primary schools.
Also discern Destiny Bonds:
Once you sense a destiny relationship, labour to maintain that bond with allyour might.
May God help us all in our different relationships.